365 Happy Days

32 years ago on 2nd October life changed forever, you were born, with a small amount of drama, you had to be rushed away quickly, but you were soon back. A healthy boy, 7lbs 12, blond hair and the most beautiful, smooth skin.

An awful lot’s happened in those 32 years, it’s a long time! Amazing how quickly those years have flown by though. 10 years ago in July the very worst thing in life happened, an accident in Thailand and you my darling boy didn’t survive. Just 21, you lived a lot of life in those years, I’d be lying if I said you didn’t cause a whole load of angst at times. But you were starting to put your troublesome years behind you and life was really just starting to take off for you.

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I was thinking earlier about your sister and brother, Alex and Jake and what hopes and dreams I may have or have had as a mother for all 3 of my children. The only hope I really have is that they’re both happy, Alex is making an amazing life in Paris, she’s a strong, independent young woman, and Jake is a Father to 3 beautiful little boys. You’d be proud of both of them and wow you’d love Ronnie, Vinnie and Ralph.

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Losing you means any hope and dreams, any future disappeared on July 14th 2009, there will be no new photos, no news of a girlfriend, a wife, children. That all went.

That first year after losing you went by in a blur, I don’t remember too much about it, but, we all survived.

They say life goes on, and it certainly does, but it takes a certain attitude and a lot of determination. I found this quote – it’s apt.

You have to take the good with the bad. Smile when you’re sad

Love what you’ve got and remember what you’ve had

Always forgive, never forget. Learn from mistakes but never regret

People change, things go wrong, but remember, life goes on

When I moved into this house, I noticed I only had photos of you up, that was very wrong of me, and it’s been changed, there are still plenty of you, but also photos of the rest of the family. Alex, Jake, Peter and Kerry and the little boys too of course!

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Life is for the living and for making memories, I live my life to the full, in your memory to a great degree, I hope you’d approve. Even though I know you’d never understand my love for cricket! That has become my biggest passion after the family, it’s been a life saver.

Tomorrow I’ll be celebrating your birthday which you shared with Uncle Les, we lost him a year ago. I’m meeting Sarah and Kate, we’ll set the world to rights and talk about you both. I will always, always love you, and there will always be tears. But my smile is genuine and life is good, I hope that would make you happy too. (Although I am shocked that my son would’ve been 32!