It’s been a while since I’ve written here; I’m writing this on a Eurostar train as I make my way home after a weekend in Paris. It’s a trip I’ve made 9 times in just over 2 years, the joys of my lovely daughter Alexandra living there gives me a good excuse! I must confess I’ve watched 5 rugby matches in that time – it’s always good to multi task!
Having given Alex my book I’ve had nothing to read. so I’ve spent some time looking through some of the photos I’ve taken in the last year or so. They do consist mostly of sport with a smattering of culture and other such things.
I take hundreds of photos at every game I go to and looking back has helped me to remember what went on, down to the finer points such as a punch thrown or a great tackle made (it’s mostly rugby, not boxing!). But it’s also made me recall just how much I enjoyed that particular day.
Strangely it’s also got me thinking about just what I may want from life and more to the point, relationships. I’ve been pretty much single for over 4 years now after walking away from my marriage and in that time I’d say I’ve found a new me, or maybe rediscovered the old me. The individual that is Debbie Knight.
Those who have read earlier ‘episodes’ will know that 6 years ago my son Luke died in Thailand after being involved in an accident – scooter meets pick up truck in a country with poor health care facilities will often end up with the very worst result. And that’s what happened to my boy, 3 days after he was hit he died. Every parents’ worst nightmare.
I may be covering old ground for some of you here but in a way I’m maybe explaining to myself how I’ve come to my current mind set.
Losing My Mum last year then the man who was my Husband, Bob in May of 2014 has really strengthened how I feel about life. This next bit is to give a taste of how I’ve spent a lot of my time over the last few years.
I’ve had a season ticket for London Broncos, with a short break, for around 19 years now and I think this is my 6th year for Saracens. I’ve since added season tickets for London Skolars and Hemel Stags (I love my rugby league). That’s all about rugby –
I’m in my 3rd year as an Essex Cricket member and this year I’ve added Surrey Cricket too.
Going to those clubs where I have a season ticket has never been a problem for me, being alone isn’t an issue, over time I’ve got to know people, there’s always a nice greeting and a smiling face, people I count as friends.
A couple of years ago I ventured further, in 2013 I added the Top 14 Final in Paris and the Ashes in Durham and at The Oval to my experiences. I found that I always found someone to talk to, although I confess that the Top 14 was quite daunting, I was most certainly the only woman alone let alone the only English person alone.
For the Test in Durham I did a good impression of a moron, buying only 1 day, I travelled to Newcastle by train. I spotted a man in a Quins shirt on the platform which was some coincidence. He was with 2 friends, we bumped into each other and got talking as we walked to our hotels, it’s amazing how much attention my Essex Cricket cushion gets!
From that chat we arranged that I’d have breakfast with them in their hotel, and share a taxi to the game.
That evening I decided to go and find food; I’ve discovered that a lady alone for dinner must be a very odd sight! It’s as if I have 2 heads, I’m not sure if others have felt that way, but it’s happened to me a lot. I strolled around a bit, then spotted a sports bar, I figured I might as well watch Essex CC in their T20 quarter final and get started at, rather than just sit in a restaurant and have the same issue.
I struck up a conversation with an Essex fan and before I knew it was sitting with him and 5 of his mates! We moved on to a bar and I think I was walked back to my hotel at about 2am!
I shared both breakfast and the taxi with my Quins friends, we also arranged to share the taxi back to Newcastle. These were 3 true gentlemen, we went for a drink after the cricket and sure enough got back to Newcastle together. You won’t be shocked to hear that along with watching the cricket I chatted to those around me all day! It was lovely!
I added 10 Test days to my summer in 2014, taking myself off for 2 days at a time, to the Ageas Bowl in Southampton, Old Trafford in Manchester, The Oval and 4 days over 2 Tests at Lords.
I had wonderful days without fail – on the one day, at Lords, when I had no one to talk to I plugged my earphones in, listened to Test Match Special and chuckled quietly to myself all day.
Iguess what I’m explaining here is how happy I am in my own company, I never let being on my own stopping me doing anything. Only recently I went to see Usher at the O2 – I had no one to come with me, but I wanted to see him, so I went. He was brilliant!
2015 is a really huge year for sport, with The Ashes being played and the Rugby World Cup taking place here, with that in mind I started my other blog, debsknigsport.com – writing and posting photos every time I go to a sporting event.
My latest game was on Monday – London Broncos – and that was Event 39 since January 1st.
I mean to watch as much sport as I can this year, I booked a weekend in Blackpool that will see me watch 7 rugby league games in 2 days. I’ll watch every minute of every game and love it!
I think lots of people find me very odd, I can often see looks of incredulity on their faces when I talk about my plans, about the games I’ve already seen and will be seeing.
I met someone recently who I thought could be a part of my life, we had a conversation where he told me he felt like a half waiting for another half to be whole. The problem is that I’m a whole, I don’t want to be consumed by a relationship, it would be nice to have someone alongside me, in a way, to fit in around the life I have now. I imagine that’s unlikely.
I’m happy in my own skin, happy with how I look, how I dress, the things I do – I don’t want or need someone to come along and change me.
I lost myself in both of my marriages and I do know that can be part of sharing you life – but it won’t be for me again. That possibly sounds very selfish – but if you’ve read other parts of my blog you’ll know I’m a plain speaker.
That went off on a total tangent – I hope it makes sense and hasn’t left you thinking I’m some sort of loony 🙂 – I probably am!