365 Happy Days – a smile a day – Part 40

It’s 11;30 pm on a Saturday evening and I feel a burning need to write here, it’s been on my mind for a while but I’ve been too busy gallivanting, too busy living life, too busy being happy.

I want to recount something that happened on social media a few weeks ago, I use the whole social media thing a lot. Twitter is probably my preferred platform and mostly I drive people crazy tweeting away about the various sports I watch and have a passion for.  But, sometimes a thought comes to me and I put it out there.  Here’s what I wrote one day.

Some thoughts about Social Media and how you choose you use it.  Some only seem to post negative thoughts, feelings, I believe that prolongs the unhappy feelings that generate the posts.

Set a challenge for yourself, have a go at only posting positive things, try for a week to start then move on to a month.

Others respond to what they read, positive prompts positive, just like a smile will get a smile in return.

Make more #HappyDays for yourself and others.

Be in charge of your own happiness.

Now that was all a bit of a rant i guess, it was prompted by the number of posts, largely on Facebook that were so completely negative about life, it feels that for some it’s almost impossible to find any good in a day.

I had quite a few likes, retweets etc, but also one very thought provoking response along the lines of – Not everyone can be like you, it’s easy for a happy person to be positive.

Now that really did get me thinking, I hesitated before i responded, I’m always very aware of not wanting to cause offence online – my reply was – I have many reasons to be unhappy, I choose happiness each and every day.  More on those thoughts a little later.

One of my aims of writing my 365 Happy Days thing is to share with others my outlook on life, if you like, as well as to share my family story.

I spent the evening with a friend watching American Sniper, an amazing tale of an inspiring man, it seems that all the films I’ve watched lately have left me crying a the end, and this was no exception.  Sad events leave me in a very reflective mindset and often find me writing here.  As I drove home I thought to myself that I needed to write, not about sport, but about life.


I never know when I start these where I’m going or if they’re going to make sense – the urge just seems to rush up.  To reinforce that a certain song came on my iTunes as I drove – it was Luke’s favourite – and we played it at his funeral, I can’t always listen to it all the way through, but tonight it felt like a bit of a message.  I have posted a link before, but if you don’t know it, here it is.

Kissing You – Desiree

The song is beautiful – one line struck me tonight – A Heaving Heart is Full of Pain – I have managed to listen at other times but those words have never struck me before.

I am a mother who has lost a child, I will for the rest of my life have that deep sadness inside, that pain.  Yet I can honestly say I’m rarely without a smile, and it’s a genuine smile, I am genuinely happy.  I fully believe that’s because I have chosen to be positive, to look for good things, to look for things to make me smile.

In recent weeks I’ve been in lots of situations where I’ve met others who’ve had tragedy in their lives.  I went to a benefit dinner in London and sat next to a man, in a room full of 360 people, whose nephew died 2 years ago, his sister isn’t doing so well.  We were able to chat and I gave him my contact details and details of this blog.

I travelled to Paris last weekend, again I chatted to 2 ladies sitting next to me as we waited for a train – an incredibly similar story emerged – her niece had died from a brain tumour – her sister is struggling.  Again I passed her my details.


On my way home I met 2 guys who’d been to the Top 14 final like me, they were brothers-in-law, connected by sisters.  One had lost his wife in 4 months previously, the 2nd had a son suffering with a brain tumour.  We spent a little time chatting and laughing about the weekend – we all 3 smiled as we did so.

It seems that I’m meant to cross paths with people in difficulty, maybe to show them that they too can find their way to their New Normal – a place where it is ok to be happy, ok to smile.

But, we have to allow ourselves to be in that place, to be in a place we never dreamt could be possible, New Normal – life after tragedy, after loss.  To turn my Twitter friend’s words around I’m going to finish on they way I believe I can be the way  I am.

It’s easier for a Positive Person to be Happy!

if you’re reading this and are in a difficult place, know that things can change, but you have to allow them.  Know it’s ok to be happy and most of all, ok to smile.


If only one of the people I meet as I go up and down the country finds some comfort in my views all this rambling is worthwhile.  Oh, and I now have a Quote Creator so watch out world! thoughts galore at the touch of an IPhone!

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